The road leads back home

This past week was a real drag.  Why mince words?  I mean, it was really shitty!  It seems the entire family has had some form of the flu or strep since February.  I have been either too busy or too sick to even look at my computer, much less actually write something post worthy. Nothing has changed.  This is probably not worth posting either, but I set a goal to follow a blog schedule and I’m not about to fall off the wagon in March.

I’ve decided I would recap the events of this past weekend in hopes that I can get over the steps of grief and move on with my life with Acceptance and Hope.

The Lord Giveth…

As you may know, I am beyond ready to move out of the suburbs.  I have been looking for a place in the country for 3 years.  I have believed with my whole heart that my dream was very achievable.  I want a place where I can keep my chickens, have a couple milk goats, make soaps and maybe have a Fiber CSA. Oh and why not make it a wonderful wedding venue too.  This is exactly the kind of place I have envisioned.

Well, last weekend I found my dream home.  3500 square feet of awesome, sitting on 2 acres of prime real estate in the country!  A professional kitchen with massive buffet and a giant,GIANT refrigerator with a pantry that would make most preppers green with envy. A screened in porch and a 2nd kitchen upstairs…in case you get a hankering for a grilled cheese sammich and don’t want to go down a few stairs. This house had everything I ever imagined and more….did I mention that it had a stage? NO? well it had a friggen stage! (That’s when I knew Jim was hooked, um hello.. 80s hairband revival coming right up!)

I started to plot out my future right there in front of our agent… This is where the Alpaca “Lips” would go and the Wedding Gazebo would be way out there- away from animals.  I would hold classes in the office space/gigantic garage. Oh, did I forget to mention that it had an office space with separate living quarters?  Geezus!

My agent seemed as excited as we were and even suggested she and her husband renew their vows at my beautiful Wedding venue.  My first client! yay!

We raced home to evaluate our current home.  She walked around with a sharp eye and suggested we get rid of about 60% of our “stuff”.  She encouraged us to install new flooring, landscape, paint trim and mailbox to improve curb appeal, and clean. At this point, I wanted to tell her we had just cleaned 🙂 but I thought it prudent to keep her excited about the potential this house had so that she could help us unload it and move us into the new DREAM HOME.

Immediately after our agent left, Jim and I made or way to the Lowe’s, where we dropped a serious bit of change and returned home with 10 of 42 boxes of wood floor laminate.  We worked through the night (did I mention I was recovering from strep?) and finished the flooring by noon on Sunday. We returned to Lowe’s to pick up another 16 boxes of flooring on Sunday and proceeded to nearly kill ourselves in the process.

Fast forward to Monday….

and the Lord taketh away…..

I skipped into work.  Nothing could get me down.  I was on top of the world. Hell, I was on my way out of that joint. In less than a year I would be hosting the first of many weddings and classes and wouldn’t have time for this gig anymore.  They’d miss me and finally realize the awesome work I had done. Poor saps. The Customer Service Index would surely suffer when I left, but that was no care of mine.

Then my phone rang….it was our agent. Despite the fact that this house had been on the market for 189 days with very little interest from anyone at all, it appears that over the weekend a bidding war had begun and was underway and we were not able to compete with the cash offers.

Step 1: Shock and denial- Surely she was wrong.  There had to be some mistake. This was the house of MY dreams people.  I’ve been setting this intention for years. There has to be some mistake…Check your information again, Real Estate agent lady!

Step 2:Pain and Guilt- Oh the unbearable pain.  My whole life-ruined. Gnashing of teeth and so on…What if we had done these dumb floors sooner? What if we had looked at the house last weekend instead of stay home sucking down antibiotics. What if I were a better, more deserving person? Oh the pain and grief…

Step 3: Anger and Bargaining- Really Universe?  This is how it’s gonna go down huh?  I’ve been touting about how awesome your laws are and this is the crap you give me?! But if you would only let me have this house…I would write a book outlining the awesome power of positive thinking and Universal Science of Mind..Please!

Step 4; Depression, Loneliness…okay wait!  This is bullshit! It was only a house Eleanor.  You are well. Your kids and your husband are well.  Get over your whining and just move on!  Finish the floors, clean up the yard (when this god-forsaken rain stops) and get on with your life.  You didn’t lose anything! You gained a clearer vision and the support of your loving husband.  Things are moving just as they should. Stop worrying and enjoy this moment right now.

This is what I would call a Shepard Hill moment (more about that later).  For now, I must get moving.  I fortunately still have a job and I better keep it until the next great opportunity comes my way!

To those of you who read through this, I thank you!  Have a great day!

~Eleanor